I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.