Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something