yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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