I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
