Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
