I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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