you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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