It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
