Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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