i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
