Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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