fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He did a backflip because drugs
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