Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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