do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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