found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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