she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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