he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
