How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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