Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
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Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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