i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
