Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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