Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
pray to the hookup gods
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
