12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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