dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
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We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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