new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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