I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
