addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
