also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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