In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
