there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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