now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i believe in u and ur pee
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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