So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
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Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
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I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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