would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
