you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
