she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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