You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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