I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
