I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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