Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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