God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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