She said her name was "party"
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
3 2 1 whiskey
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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