she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
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I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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