if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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