I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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