my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize