I'm gonna have a badass scar
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
