I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize