i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
