i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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