ya dads aren't the best wingmen
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
