If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So much Jack, so little girl.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
