do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
