you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
