u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
