This girl is more easily done than said...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
