My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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