Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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