Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
