My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
